Reason #10: History Lesson

Ok, I admit that I stated this off on a fairly light-hearted note, and over the course of the night I had stumbled onto one fairly large, legitimate gripe. A gripe that I feel should crack the top 10. 

Heres a fairly well known secret:

There are some girls out there who get upset at the slightest mention of any past with another woman.

I was recently having a discussion with a certain lady who, based solely on the subject matter of this here blog, will not give it even the tiniest of peeks. Not out of curiosity, not of wanting to see a creative outlet of mine, nothing. When pushed it was because she, "Didn't want to know about that part of me, or my exs" The logic behind this baffles my mind. I'll own up to the fact that when a girl mentions an ex, I will get the appropriate amount of jealous and shrug it off, but I would never attempt to pretend that I am the alpha and the omega in any girl's universe. 

I'm 24. I have slept with girls, I have done a number of things with a number of girls. Some of these were meaningful, and some weren't. Some of these relationships I cherish, some I banish to the back corner of my mind only to be released in once a year realizations. All of your experiences, the good, the bad, the ugly, they make up who you are as a person. Take for example that I was in a 3 year relationship.

Let's look at that for a second. Three years. From the age of 20 until 23 I was with somebody. In that time I had graduated college, started looking for real work, become of legal drinking age, changed cars, gotten a million cuts, had a sizable amount of life that was lived. 

Yes, during that time the girl in question was at the forefront of all of that. I shared some things with her that I hadn't shared with another individual. That is part of what makes me the person I am at this very moment. There are some messed up issues I have now, and my history is the reason for that. There were also plenty of great stories I have gotten from this as well, and the fact that they involve another woman shouldn't be grounds to never mention them again. 

We shouldn't have to wipe out those parts of ourselves, or have other's make them into blind spots. Every girl I have even remotely been involved with has shaped me. I still think about the girl in 7th grade who would turn me face ten shades of red if she even talked to me. I think about the first date I ever had, and how I didn't own up to my ice skates being too big, and now I have a scar from it. Am I still infatuated with these girls, or even the idea of what they were to me once upon a time ago? No. But I took those experiences, and I grew. I moved on.  

I get the whole jealousy thing, but I don't get the need to whitewash your past.